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But if your poker night is populated by many of the types of people below? Our condolences, and we hope this list provides some catharsis for you. Also, you should probably find some new playing partners.
1. The incessant trash talker
Tip: if someone tries to gloat during a game, make the exact face the woman on the left is making. (Thinkstock)
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Tip: if someone tries to gloat during a game, make the exact face the woman on the left is making. (Thinkstock)
If you’ve ever competed in anything, you’ve encountered this person. It’s not enough for them to win a hand: they have to let you know about it in every way possible (so they can find the way that most annoys you). They don’t even have to win a hand, really: they also delight in getting in your head before hands are decided, informing you of how badly you’re going to lose, hoping that will be enough to throw you off your game. There’s only one way to deal with this type of player: beat them. Take all their chips (and all their money). Silencing the smack almost makes putting up with it worthwhile. Almost.
2. The know-it-all
Will wearing sunglasses make you better at poker? Probably not. Will wearing sunglasses make you *think* you're better at poker? Almost definitely. (Thinkstock)
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Will wearing sunglasses make you better at poker? Probably not. Will wearing sunglasses make you *think* you’re better at poker? Almost definitely. (Thinkstock)
Different from trash-talkers in that their primary goal is self-flattery, rather than getting under your skin. They’ve got a second guess ready for every decision you make, and a lecture for every hand you lose. They don’t come off as eager to annoy like trash-talkers — in fact, they might think their intentions are good, willing as they are to share their infinite* Sakaupoker.com Agen Poker Online Texas Poker Yang Terpercaya knowledge with you. This does not make it any less annoying to sit through their endless opinions on proper strategy … or any less rewarding to take them down a peg.
3. The serial folder
It could be that this person isn’t a terrible player. Maybe their cards really are giving them nothing to work with, again and again. And their specialty doesn’t require talking — music to your ears if you’ve been at a table with a trash talker or know-it-all lately. What it does require is an extremely boring playing style. The serial folder might stick around the table for a while, but that’s mostly because their hyper-conservative playing style will almost never result in actual bets. They’re poker’s answer to pushers in tennis, and about as fun to play against. Like big, high-stakes hands where people lay it all on the line? The serial folder’s mere presence will decrease the odds of those hands happening.
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4. The really, really good player
Sure, a challenge is nice. What’s also nice is winning. And no matter your skill level, when the quality of your opponents goes up, your chance of winning goes down. There are positive aspects to playing against highly skilled players – for example, there’s no better way to improve your own game than by testing it against the best — but the road to improvement will probably be paved with losses. And that’s no fun.
5. The really, really bad player
You would probably beat this dog in a poker game. That doesn't mean you'd feel good about it. (Thinkstock)
You would probably beat this dog in a poker game. That doesn’t mean you’d feel good about it. (Thinkstock)
Winning is, as noted above, nice. But it’s not nice enough to make up for a totally uninteresting game. And when the easy money gets too easy, there’s no joy in it. Besides: you, dear reader, are undoubtedly a person of fine moral fiber. How much fun is it, really, to beat up on a hopelessly overmatched opponent?
6. The one who doesn’t really care about the game
This doesn’t mean they’re bad, necessarily: just that they’re not terribly interested even while they’re playing. Their minds will wander. You’ll have to remind them it’s their turn to act. You? You have a passion for the game. Them? They’re there for the food, drinks, and social gathering. And their enjoyment of pursuits other than poker makes you sick.
7. The excessive eater
Hey, come on, those snacks are for everyone.
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